HELLO TO THE MELLOW.
JUST WANT INFORM THAT THIS BLOG WILL BE MOVE TO....
*DRUM ROLL*
www.douglassjy.blogspot.com
YAY!!!
THIS BLOG WILL BE INACTIVE.
BUT I WILL NOT DELETE,
AND KEEP IT AS A REMINISCENCE OF MY LIFE.
Laughs.
Sorry for the caps.
Love,
Douglas, SJY.
Friday, 20 September 2013
Friday, 10 May 2013
"Him, an Angel" first chapter released!
As I have promised,
Once i got my internet I will be releasing my first chapter of "Him, an Angel".
Therefore, I have uploaded it!
One warning, bear with my grammar as this is my first attempt to write a so-called novel. *smile*
Anyway, enjoy!
Lots of Love,
Douglas Yuan.
Thursday, 9 May 2013
I'm back with words!
It has been a very long time since the last update on my blog.
Laziness has became the main factor on stopping me from updating my blog.
But this time, I am coming back with a bunch of surprise!
While I'm spending my holidays, I had started making a new story, or a so-called novel.
It is based on a true story.
It's about how a two friend Daniel(Dan) and Nigel spend their life together in middle school. When Nigel first know Dan in the elementary and they meet again after 2 years passed from elementary. Nigel is just like an angel in Daniel's life. As their friendship getting bond and closer, sometimes there will be jealousy between them and sometimes the atmosphere change to love in friendship.
Great ain't it? I hope it is. Well, it's not a gay story, just some sort of Bromance. Don't know what is bromance? Bromance means when two guys being so close, look like a couple but they're not. The things they did together somehow looks gay for others, but they do not feel and take it as a gay act. Well, this only happens when you have a very close friend for yourself. It would be sad if you do not have one.
Anyway, get back to the main point.
I've given a title for this story,
"Him, an Angel"
Sunday, 24 March 2013
Is this Jealousy?
A voice, whispered to my ear,
Something good requested,
sounding good for itself, but it refused to accept.
Trying to care it as a joke,
unfortunate,
It's not that simple.
The voice,
It hurts a feeble heart of a feeble man,
feel like a thousand needles cramping into it,
Barely able to breathe,
Somehow it feels different,
Is it care?
or,
Is it jealousy?
Tuesday, 19 March 2013
Thrust of Unsatisfactory
This story was a dream of mine when I’m having my nap at
Noon. It’s quite unbelievable.
It was early in the morning, Sun
shining straight to my face, waking me up around 7 O'clock in the morning. It
was Sunday, the day where I usually will wake up at 6 to get ready to go to
Work. Hell yeah I know, Sunday, and I still have to work. I work as a journal
writer in one of the famous News Company in Malaysia. I need to go to work by 7
Quarter pass three in order for me to reach to my work by 7 and a half in the
Morning. As I’m awake, I straight go in
to my cosy bathroom, turning on the water tap and adjust the temperature water
to 45% warm, a perfect morning shower. Then, I took my usual cloth, wear it and
not to forget to bring my baby along, Canon 60D camera. It’s perfectly 7 Quarter pass three, I take my
motorcycle out from the garage, drive to my work place.
7 and a half, I reached my work
place, looking on my table, wondering what news today I am going to write
about. It was a picture of a guy, and a brief note on what happened towards
him. Looking at the picture, I was shocked, heart stops beating for a moment,
barely able to breath and get to calm myself down after a few second later. To confirm
whether he is the person I know, I took the note and read it, written the name “Lee Lennon”. As I saw the name, it is
confirmed. It mentioned that he got crazy and killed a guy who cheated on him,
and he managed to run away from the catch of the police. I have no choice and
so, I have to write about it. Few hours, spending my time on writing the news,
finding information all around the net and I finally finished it after 5 hours.
Sent it up to the publishing office, I go back home after that. While on my way
back home, driving my baby Mitsubishi motorcycle, the wonders on my mind never
stop. What happen to him? I’m sure there is something.
Next morning, I woke up late,
even though the sunlight shrine on my eye. Monday is my off day, where people
usually hate Monday. Walked towards my door, took the newspaper in my mailbox,
my article was on the main page of the newspaper. His face was posted large (I
didn’t ask for that). Then, I went in to my kitchen, cook breakfast for my own.
After finish eating my breakfast, I went up to my room, took out and wear up my
purple cotton t-shirt, a pair of skinny jean and my favourite black sweater. Today,
I have a date with a girl I like, Miss Rika. She works as a Lecturer in a
Science technologies University. Without wasting my time, I took my key and
drive my motorcycle to the place we promised to meet.
As I have reached there, she was
standing in front of a flower shop, picking up one stalk of Lavender from a
basket blue in color. Silently, I parked my motorcycle far from her, and paid
the Lavender for her. Going towards her, I said “Hold it, don’t throw it away”.
She smiled and we walked to a cinema nearby.
After finished the movie, we went to eat and having fun all day long. As
day getting dark, sun lowered down and moon gets up, we separated as we brought
our own vehicle. Waving goodbye and I walked to the place where my motorcycle
was parked. It’s was silent as it was 3 O’clock in the midnight.
Quite creepy, when suddenly an
old car, drove in a high speed, crashed my motor as I get to escape. I was traumatized
by what I saw as my motorcycle flew to the road across. And in sudden, the car
reversed, heading towards me, and I ran but unfortunately, I am slow and got
hit therefore I dropped on the ground, scratched my elbow on the crude road. The
car stopped and a guy came own, can’t see his face clearly as the mist covered
him from far. Heard my watch ticking, he walks step by step and getting
closer. As I saw his spectacles, and it
was Lennon! Traumatized for another time and I am unable to starts a word. He walked
even closer, pulled my cloth collar, saying “Why, why wrote about me!!!” I got
scared and muted for a moment, when I am able to ask him a question after then,
“What happen to you?”
He got mad when I asked, Then he
hold my neck with his strong hand, making me unable to take a deep breath.
Sweat flowing out from my body, scared of what will happen. I took out my
phone, trying to call for help from 999. Unfortunately, he saw it, shouted on
my face, “YOU DARE TO CALL THE POLICE?”, and he got Wrath, taking out his
pocket knife and stabbed me with it to my bottom right abdomens, three times.
Blood flowing, as he looking at me, got scared and ran away. I was tumbled to
the floor, holding the pain of the three thrust. Panting for help, but no one was there.
***The End***
The story ends because I was awake.
Cast,
Me, Myself.
Lennon, The Killer.
Rika, Someone I know.
Cast,
Me, Myself.
Lennon, The Killer.
Rika, Someone I know.
Lots of Love,
Douglas Yuan.
Friday, 1 March 2013
A Confession
This story is based on a true story of a Singapore guy.
This is a confession letter written by Mr.H
It is 5 years to the day I lost him, yet his memory is still etched as deeply and fresh in my mind. There are times I let my guard down when I see something funny, sad or simply memorable and I turn to share it with him, only to remember again that he’s not there. We met when we were in camp. I had one of those schoolboy crushes the moment I laid eyes on him. He was the duty officer of the day and I was a platoon sergeant from another company. I concocted a lame excuse to drop by the Ops Room to find out his name, D. Through some illegal means I obtained his number and for a couple of days I deliberated calling him, keying it into my phone before chickening out and hitting cancel.
This is a confession letter written by Mr.H
It is 5 years to the day I lost him, yet his memory is still etched as deeply and fresh in my mind. There are times I let my guard down when I see something funny, sad or simply memorable and I turn to share it with him, only to remember again that he’s not there. We met when we were in camp. I had one of those schoolboy crushes the moment I laid eyes on him. He was the duty officer of the day and I was a platoon sergeant from another company. I concocted a lame excuse to drop by the Ops Room to find out his name, D. Through some illegal means I obtained his number and for a couple of days I deliberated calling him, keying it into my phone before chickening out and hitting cancel.
I went out for drinks at Tantric that weekend with a close
friend to dish and ask for advice, when who should walk in but my crush
himself! He glanced over, gave me one of those cheeky knowing grins and walked
away. I spent the night longing to talk to him and secretly hating every cute
slut who hit on him. We met the following week at the camp canteen. He ordered
his food and walked over with an air like we knew each other for years, sat
down and said “I was waiting for you to come and talk to me that night. Shy
ah?” I wanted to smack him so badly for his cocky arrogance and yet, it was SO
appealing. I mumbled some reply and pretty soon we were hitting it off. Before
it was time to go, he casually reached out for my phone and started keying in
his number only to find out that I already had it. Oh the embarrassment…
I won’t go into the clichés of describing our relationship.
When you are in love, the world disappears and everything feels magical to you.
Being an officer who had his own bunk, I often snuck out of mine when my mates
were asleep to look for him. Our book outs were spent in each other’s company
and when I brought him home to meet my family, my mother doted on him like
another son. But he always kept a part to himself and it wasn’t long before I
figured it out; he wasn’t out to his family, particularly his mother who was a
“church elder”. Coming from an accepting family myself, I didn’t want to push
him on this issue. We chose to ignore it and lived happily in our own world.
Then he had a serious accident. His getting a bike license
was something I never agreed with but his elder brother rode one and it was
something he had his heart placed on since young. I only found out when his
friend from his company (who knew we were dating) called me. I made up a
bullshit excuse to get a nights off pass and rushed down to the hospital. His
parents were already there and they thought I was a camp representative, an
assumption I did not bother to correct. I nearly cried on the spot seeing him
lying there injured, his arm and leg in a cast and bruises all over. He was
still under the effects of the sedative when he came to and saw me, smiled and
said “I’m sorry baby I promise to be more careful next time. I was so scared I
would never see you again.” I looked up to see his parents’ shock. I told him
to rest up, bade a hasty farewell and left.
He called me the next day from the hospital, saying that he
could be discharged soon. I applied for off again and when I reached; no one
else was there. I asked if he had called his parents and he shrugged. I knew
what that shrug meant; “I don’t want to talk about it.” He held my hand tightly
during the taxi ride to his place and when we reached, I felt his body tense. His
parents had the locks changed. I stood there hapless and not knowing what to
say as he argued over the phone with his dad. It was clear what was happening;
they did not accept him coming out and unless he promised to never see me
again, change and go for church counseling, they did not want him back in the
house. It was the first time I had ever seen him cry and it broke my heart. He was
shouting “I am still your son, which is more important to you??”. He was so
frustrated at not getting through to his parents that he finally hurled his
phone out into the air, over the parapet.
I brought him home to my place and whispered hurriedly what
had happened to my mom. Since I had to be back in camp while he was on a
month’s MC, she took charge of his recuperation without hesitation. His brother
dropped off some clothes for him with a menacing warning, “You better tell my
brother to stop being a gay or else he can change the address on his IC to
‘this place’.” I had never met such homophobic hostility before and I kept the
words of his brother from him. He recovered but his demeanour changed. Having
to readjust to a life in a new home, no matter how welcoming, affected him
greatly. He hardly laughed and would some dark mood swings. I held him on many
nights as he cried over his family’s rejection. He bought his mother a gift for
her birthday, hoping she would forgive and accept him but she said that unless
he changed and prayed for forgiveness, she only had one son. His father
rejected his calls and his brother told him he was ashamed of having a “chao ah
qua” for a brother.
Then he went missing one Saturday. He got to book out
earlier than I did and we would always meet up at my place; that day I reached
home with lunch for the both of us only to find that he wasn’t there. I waited
all day and night. My texts went unanswered and his phone was switched off. I
went to bed with a sense of dread. His camp-mate, the same friend who knew
about us, woke me up with a string of frantic missed calls. His family had
called the camp to report that something bad, real bad had happened to him. I
rushed down to his place and my worst fears realized when I saw the wake in the
void deck. I didn’t want to go in and face the truth. He had left me, left all
of us for good. His parents refused to allow me entry to bid him farewell but
his brother relented when they were not around. It was all so surreal seeing
him lay there in the coffin. I kept hoping that it was a bad joke.
Afterwards, his brother told me that every Saturday morning
D would come round to the house, pleading with their parents to let him in and
forgive him. I did not know this and I cried that he had kept this from me. His
brother was beginning to change his mind and accept his baby brother, even
tried talking to his parents to let D move back in. That Saturday morning,
following yet another futile begging session, he climbed onto the parapet in front
of their flat and jumped 12 stories. My life has this huge void now. They say
that time heals all wounds but the pain is still as fresh as it was yesterday.
D, I graduated as I promised you I would and I recently started working. This
should be a time of promise and possibilities but all I can think of is the
memories we will never get to make together.
I wish you had spoken to me more or at least let me book out
with you all those Saturdays. You promised that we would see the world together
and someday we would have our own place. I am so sorry that you left this world
thinking that your parents no longer loved you. I wish I had worked harder to
make up for that, that my love was enough to make you forget them. I can never
replace you and wherever you are now, I hope you will wait for me. Till we meet
again.
Love,
H
Wednesday, 9 January 2013
One thing, All Ruin.
Myself,
Happy with what I has done,
Done things early, joyfully walks to the class,
with spirit of winning and victory,
went in front,
wanted to let go,
unfortunately,
Because of a drop of ink,
White silk have to be throw away.
Nothing is much fucked up,
than being rejected.
stress and hatred coming back in my life,
Money, time and mind,
it have to be wasted once again,
for a thing I spent long time ago,
Just to get the best.
Prayers,
I need it by my side.
God,
Guidance and path way.
-Dougy Yuan-
Lots Of Love.
Knifes, but words.
Humans,
They live in this world and having their own life.
Male and female, both are the same, but only one thing that makes them different.
Their attitude, personal attitudes.
some people are good, but some are just awfully bad.
being a bad person doesn't mean that they are bad physically,
but can be mentally and from conversation.
Words,
sometime, people get discourage because of words.
Ugly, Bitch, Stupid, Idiot,
sounds normal to the "Perfect one" Ain't it?
It might be light for you, but not for other people.
It might be just a piece of shit and shouldn't be worry about.
For some people,
A single word "Useless" is very offensive.
Maybe a sorry would be enough for that,
but, u just cleaned the wound,
how about the scars? Scratches and Holes.
Words, an invisible knife,
that makes people die.
-Dougy Yuan-
Monday, 5 November 2012
A Quite good result
In this semester one, I really wanted to thank few person,
First, Jeasandra Imelda Bigar who had always gave support to
me, asked me not to give up, scolded me, helped me to answer those questions
especially during the HNP (Pengajian Kenegaraan) and Article Review for my
study skills. Because of her help, I got A's (4.00) for both subject. I will
miss you as you got none of any subject that same group with me next Semester.
Anyway, Thank you so much!
Second, Lennon Lee, who had accompany me when doing the HNP
(Pengajian Kenegaraan), even though we're so sleepy. Laughs. Also, because of
your help, I got 4.00 for My curriculum subject too xD I Will miss you too.
Miss being your group-mate.
Third, My HNP (Pengajian Kenegaraan) Group Mates, Thank You
guys. The Report also one of the reason i got 4.00 for my HNP XD. I will Miss
you guys.
Fourth, My curriculum Group Mates. It was a success when we
did the aerobic dance and the Sport event. Thank to you guys that I got 4.00
for my Curriculum. Missed the moment when we practice and various resistances
that had happened.
Thank You :)
Sincerely,
Douglas Yuan
Lots Of Love.
Kay,Bye.
I do not know what might happen to me next semester since my
supporter got none of any subject with me anymore.
Who? How?
Sigh...
Sunday, 28 October 2012
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